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A letter never read

Dear Sunshine

I’ve been dirtier than you wanna know.

I’ve omitted words that if you heard, would make you shake your head

So that your hair

Which I recall now in the silliest of detail,

Would waver and tremble,

Like my hands

But beautifully so.

And Sunshine,

You can keep telling me you’re doing alright, just busy y’know and stuff

And I’ll keep telling you I’m okay and disappearing into my baggy jacket and stuff

There is no need to voice the truth

Because it won’t bring you back

And there’s no point either

in coming out with long scrolls of jerky handwriting

That say nothing really,

because you can’t read it.

That’s the thing, Sunshine.

I write all these letters to you, I lick the stamp and post them

And when you sit there unfolding them

I want to tear my hair out

Because you can’t read.

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