I am not a teenager
I am not going to say that I miss you,
or that I like you,
or – holy frieking crap – that you are special.
Because that’s all a load of teenage crap,
which belongs to the early 2000’s, not to now.
And I would never pollute my mind or your inbox with such crap drivel.
Besides, I’m an old hag,
and old hags have gay friends, and secret crushes, not actual boyfriends.
Now that that’s cleared,
I’m going to get into my bed,and stare at the ceiling,
because I am so comfortably not with you right now.