Disclaimer: Just because my previous post was about happy naked fun, and this post is about a skin rash, does not mean I have a manky STD.
Alright. I’ve had enough of this. So I will exorcise this stupid rash by the power of Blog!
Backstory starts here (skip if you think you know me, or if you’re too cool for historical contextualisation):
I’ve always had physical reactions to stress…
In Grade 11 I was itchy all over my body, for no medical reason. I had no allergies, no exema, not even the tiniest marks on my skin. It was just itchy. For a year. My mom made me go to some weird Reiki place that played dolphin music, but that didn’t really help. It went away after a year.
In first year of uni I used to get really crazy cramps in my ankle, and I thought it was caused by the excesses of physical theatre, but it carried on even during my holidays, and again, there was no medical cause. It too, went away, without me really knowing why.
In second year I landed up seeing a physiotherapist because of the tension in my left shoulder, which had caused the muscle to form a knot. Acupuncture and torturous exercises did fix that bitch, although even now it occasionally twangs and I have to cock my head at a 90 degree angle like an owl.
And now, for the past six weeks, I’ve had this really stupidly irritating rash on my feet! A couple of days ago it spread to my hands, and now, I’m dying. And yes, I am stressed. University is heavy right now. I spent my entire Sunday writing my English essay, this week is constipated with Drama auditions, and next weekend is packed with essays as well.
WHY, Blog, WHY have you forsaken me??
The pharmacist, with his decade of medical studies behind him, said “Jaaa hey no. The only thing that can help that is Cortisone hey. Jaaa.”
Say Cortisone to my mother, anyone, I dare you.
She will whip out her full collection of pans and pins to beat the crap out of you- Cortisone is never to be taken! It kills everything goodly and plants little satans in your body and you spend the rest of your life and bank account trying to get rid of them!
Or something like that.
Anyway, so I’ve had it built into me that Cortisone is a big no-no.
The only other option to buy was some silly thing called Acne plus, by Natura, which also makes Rescue, which were my happy pills back in Grade 12 when a few tablets of leaves preserved in alcohol were enough to keep me de-stressed.
So I bought this Acne plus thing, and when I squeezed the tube, the back popped open, so now I have a two-sided sword of doom and squishy creaminess!
The rash is still there. Rashing me.
Damnations, damnations, damnations.
Maybe if I buy a big cake and go on holiday it will go away.
Sadly my subconscious is not that easy to manipulate.
On a total side note, today is a month since the university carnival.
Cough. Mmmarty actually kept track of the date. What a good girlfriend! Frieking pity she may not be able to touch you cos she’s plagued!!!
Cue laughter from the Universe.