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Okay-ness

I’m getting really good at this.

In one week, I am able to carry on with my life. I am able to pay attention in class, run callbacks at the theatre, park almost correctly, and most importantly, I can say out loud that I am okay.

I did unexpectedly burst into tears once today, but this was the first time since Saturday! I think that’s rather impressive. Send me blog applause.

I would never have gotten to this point, however, without my wonderful friends. From my ex-summer lover-now-good-chum to my old Dehben mates to my Gtown friends, everyone has been excellent. Even my mom realised I was damn bleak, and she’s been really supportive.

Hippie-fool has not showed his face, much to my pleasure, because right now the temptation to slap him is beautifully high. I did see him on Saturday at a gig, and half crumbled in Slipstream’s bathrooms as a result, but again, friends pulled me through.

I need to search my blog archives to see if I’ve already promised this, but I think I might actually be done with boys for a while. I’m just too stable for all this existential-crisis shit. Oh help me I’m drowning – I don’t know who I am – I don’t know what I want- shit.
I’ll return to the dating scene when boys seem more like men. The Queen of Supreme Wisdom (albeit, Shit Parking Technique) is MUCHOS unimpressed.

(Which means I am, once again, The Crazy Cat Lady herself. Bring it on. Fuck little boys. Not in that dirty way, you Catholic priest paedophiles…)

(Very deep down inside, I am understanding of this whole existential-crisis issue. We are young adults after all. Of course we are confused. But still, little freaking morons, why did you date me in the first place?! You should just stay single and wallow in your existentialism and insecurity. Instead of fucking with my mind, and then going back to wallow in your insecurity. Meh. Bring me my cats.)

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