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I have had an illuminatory moment.

It’s been a while since I blogged about digs issues. This is by no means because all is cheerful in my new digs (student accommodation). But compared to last year, hellz yes I’m in Xanadu. The flat itself is gorgeous and lovely. The construction site next door is less so, but one particular construction worker has charmed me sufficiently that I put up with the overdose of khaki pant and the scents of cheap dagga wafting by at 7 o’clock every morning.

Ja, it are a cold day, and we are to be dealing wif it by means of the spliff. Ne?

But what has really been getting to me is my digsmate. Maybe I’m just too OCD. Maybe I should accept dirty toilet seats, burnt pans and abandoned dirty dishes.

But what I realised last night was that maybe, I am living with a blind person!

Maybe the glasses are just a disguise, and let’s face it wearing glasses is a whole lot less weird than carrying a white cane and a guide dog.

This could explain why food gets cooked until it is burned, and why the pan is sort of meh-meh rinsed, leaving a thick layer of burned lava for me to deal with the next day. And why we’ve had this conversation plenty times, yet it keeps happening again.

I can’t help myself but ask; what would Helen Keller’s digsmate have done?

I know that’s a little un-PC even by my standards.

But really now.

If I had the time, I could even make bracelets. WWHKDD.

It’s like What Would Jesus Do, but more realistic.

Because Jesus probably didn’t have a digsmate who peed on the seat. And even if he did, the dude was so peaceful he probably turned up the seat and invited the digsmate to pee on the porcelain as well.

“Oh, why do you doubt me, faithless digsie? Do you not know the ways of the kitchen cupboard? Burn me a pan, and I will give thee another to set on fire. Such is the bountiful love of the Lord.”

What I put up with in 2009


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