And it laughed at me today.
There I was, being housewifely, placing my duvet inside a fresh and clean duvet cover.
All 1.55m of me, versus all 2m by 2m of it. The duvet cover of deception.
After fumbling about for a few seconds minutes much too long, I decided I should hold the duvet and climb inside the duvet cover with it. Then I would stand up, duvet corners in both hands, duvet cover covering us both, I would magically slip out and the duvet would be ready.
If only my music player hadn’t been on “shuffle”.
I got inside the duvet cover. I got fucking tangled and disorientated. And then happy Jesus music started blaring from my speakers.
I would like to publicly apologise to my neighbours for the loud roar of BWAAAAARGH I’M STUCK IN MY DUVET AND JESUS MUSIC IS PLAYING!!! GET ME OUT!!!! HALP!!! HALP!!!! BWAAAAAR!
After a long civil war and several bloody coups, power returned to the hands of the righteous, and my bed was made. Annoying Jesus music is still lurking in my harddrive somewhere though. Waiting for my foot to get tangled in my computer cable. Longing for my hand to get stuck in my burglar bars. There is no rest for the physically inept.