Some things are evident.
For example, when it is 5 degrees in Gtown, you don’t wear rugby shorts.
For example, psychopaths should not be befriended.
For example, chocolate is a healthy cereal.
Some things, not so clear.
I have some free time today (!) and my friends are all busy ignoring me or having winter sexy times with their humping partners, so I decided to just go for a little drive.
I landed up in a cool residential area, but suddenly I was on an off-road trail, and I was convinced the tar would start again soon, so I kept driving onwards.
I landed up somewhere on this narrow trail overlooking a piece of land yet to be transformed into a larney property. To mah left, steep slope downwards and muddy land. To mah right, steep uphill incline and thorny bushes.
So I was like, mkay, I’m totes sure my Golf can handle this. And I have the minimum required driving skills to achieve success.
Never mind the plants of death, the crows, the epic puddle of mud(d) and other angry rock bands in the surrounds.
So I drove down this stupid trail, all the while thinking I was like Schumacher and Steve Irwin rolled up into one mega superhuman with boobs, and then I landed up in front of two huge piles of gravel and sand, blocking the end of the trail. There was absolutely no space to do a 3-point turn.
At this point I realised I had to reverse the entire way back down the trail.
I may have peed myself.
It took me a solid five minutes and a feisty Placebo cover from the 1980’s to get me out of there.
I nearly demolished a small tree and a cactus plant, not to mention the fact that I could have become garden art déco for the property-to-be below.
All of this in the rain.
Marty should really stay home and knit more.
Cool band of the moment: Architecture in Helsinki. Their album “In Case We Die” makes me happy.
And I could have died today.
In yet more news, I bought Jasmine tea.
Who needs men. I have an entire kitchen of OSSUM.