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Dear search buddy

I just wanna say sorry. When you Googled “i need a gay fuck now in grahamstown”  I guess you weren’t expecting my blog to pop up.

I know I’m kinda elusive because my Gravatar says I’m a 12-year-old-male starting a rock band.

I also want to say that I do empathise with you, because my need for cuddles sounds as serious as your need for, in your words, “a gay fuck.”

I thought I’d do a good deed for you – although I can’t exactly offer you my genitalia or anybody else’s, I thought if you were smart enough to ask Google for “a gay fuck”, then Google images should be pretty capable of satisfying your existential needs.

So, in my decidedly biased opinion, here are three guys you should totally tap:

Jake Gyllenhaal


Adam Lambert

Zac Efron

I kind of have dibs on Zac, but I guess if you’re really desperate we could share him. I’m pretty busy Wednesday nights so I could drop him off while I do my shopping and rehearsing?
Apparently Adam has been hit with battery charges (pun!! never mind, sorry, grammar sometimes excites me more than copulating does), so if you do go for him make sure you have rope.
Jake’s kind of a classic, and by that I just mean that lots of people have wanted to touch his bits.
Up to you, hun, I think you’ve really got yourself a sweet deal here.
Who ever knew Google could be so informative.
I know, right? God bless my helpful soul.
Footnote: Dear mom/ any of my heroes / God:
I’m sorry. He started it. WHO Googles that. I mean come on. I couldn’t resist. Slap me on the wrists, I know, I am hardened uncaring git.
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Comments on: "Things You Shouldn’t Ask Google For" (3)

  1. Hahaha funny. You’re silly.

  2. […] for the bromance man, I’m so glad you enjoy my blog, and particularly the post on which sexy celebrities you should pick for a gay fuck. Boet, the boytjies know I am the […]

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