I was only looking for a little bit of sweetness
A hand to watch uncurling as lips pop and shoulders slowleeeey
And breathing together is an option I like to pick.
Pick me, pick me
Pick me out in a crowd in a meat market in a shopping mall.
It’s okay if you’re drunk because it makes you warmer
It’s okay if I’m sober it helps me remember
And in the nights when you’re gone I use my recall
To feel your presence still here
Pressing me into the wall
Benefits of a single bed
Benefits of a live lived in my head
My blanket never said,
you should count your blessings dear
because they will disappear, hear?
My blanket didn’t say you should think of the future
My blanket’s rhyming couplets would make no difference here
Because every time it tried I choked it like I
choked my conscience and then I
stripped the bed much like I
stripped my own body and I
ignored ignored ignored
And when I gripped you my white knuckles your hot back
Those tears were all I had left of my former self.
So frustratingly contradictory, I am neither slut nor abstinent.
I enjoy the moments I temporarily regret
Then I bundle most of them in pink sheets and try to forget.
A few months pass and I don’t remember
What your hands look like,
I wrote every date on my calendar
But none of the photos really capture the light in your eyes
It’s as if in my bedroom you all don a disguise
A guise a role a game a trick
Use the right words and you will progress
Like rolling double six you will get your fix
I will get mine
Temporary satisfaction of a much more serious need of mine.