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(1) People who hang up on you after ignoring your calls for weeks. Did your mother send you to the woods to be raised by rocks? Did you get peer pressured into assholeyness by hyenas?

(2) Strangers who call you and promptly yell HEY LISTEN! as you pick up, and then proceed to yell some more while you’re still wondering who the heck they are. Listen to me, fucktard, we don’t know each other, so have a little courtesy, or I will stick my phone down my pants to fart at you. Telecommunicational flatulence. You can has some.

(3) Lying liars who tell you to prepare in advance because the exam question will be on x, but you discover as you turn over the paper that in fact the question is y. It feels like an inconclusive wank.

All these people should be slapped with a fish.

MINUS SIXTEEN DAYS UNTIL I GET TO GO HOME

AND BE

ILLITERATE

UNDRESSED

AND FREE.

Until then, I will keep hurling rotten seacreatures at the morons that cross my paths.

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